Thursday, August 03, 2006

My mind is a strange, strange place.

I have a bit of a raccoon problem -- they rather enjoy living in my chimney, and I rather enjoy being slightly more separated from nature. I was discussing said problem with a friend and asked if he knew of any way to get rid of them. (They've come and gone for years)

His answer? A firm, resolute, "Coyote piss."

Upon further explanation (coyotes are natural predators of raccoons, raccoons smell predators and head for the hills, etc), I was convinced and asked how I might procure such a thing.

"Why, the internet, of course!"

So, we sat down to Google, and my mind immediately started thinking of the sort of bizzare fetish sites that searching for the words "coyote piss" would render. I'm very open-minded sexually, and pretty damn visual in general, so some rather vivid and unpleasant images rolled about in my head. To my surprise, though, we saw nothing obscene -- some song lyrics that had the words in them, though not near each other, and a number of hunting-type sites that sold the stuff. (One even called the product a coyote piss-tol.)

I don't fool myself into thinking I'm original. Any idea I've had, more likely than not, someone else has had, and likely expounded on, far better than I. There may be some difference in nuance, tone, or some other such subtlety, but the general sense of things is the same. Still, I clearly envisioned a fetish community devoted to watersports with large, dangerous, and feral animals, and, apparently, no such community exists. I plead with my muse -- do not let this one be the only original thought that my mind produces.

Oh, and while you're at it, hot stuff, can we replace this image with some innocent little bondage fantasy?

(If you couldn't tell from the mention of a "muse," and my reference to such a muse as "hot stuff", this was written for your, and my, amusement.)

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